Hebrews 13:5 "For He has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you "
If I had listen to the enemy, I would have missed seeing the beauty of a blue bird outside my kitchen window, hearing my husband say "I love you", my friends voice and her laughter over the phone and I would have missed this opportunity to share my heart with you.
First of all, I want you to know I am not a writer, a "THINKER", but not a writer.
I feel I am the least among the least, but as small as we may feel, we all have a life story to tell.
I believe we preach our very own funeral each day.
Since my journey with the Lord, which began in 1976 it has been my heart's desire to be a vessel for Him and one in which He can use.
Over the past year and a half, I have struggled with health issues arising from a congenital disease that I never knew I had.
Through all the Doctor appointments, three surgeries in a four month span, a broken ankle, medical bills, not to mention all the pain pills that I had been given that was suppose to fix it all.
I tried to continue my daily life of being a wife, work a full time job,host a weekly TV program and singing every weekend with our Gospel Music group became a struggle for me. I tried to stay strong and smile through the pain, but each day was becoming an issue for me.
I prayed, sang songs, read the Word, quoting Bible verses, later I found myself so wrapped up in the pain that I did not want to pray, sing, read or even quote verses. I only wanted out of the pain.
In my Spirit I knew that God had not left my side, because His Holy Spirit dwells within me, even though at times He felt so far away. These following words never left my memory, "I will never leave you nor forsake you".
You ask me how I know, I am glad you ask, almost thirty-six years ago I ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins, been to church all my life, never been a bad person, but you can not good or work your way into Heaven, Jesus' precious blood has to be applied to your soul. Since that Sunday in 1976, this girl has never been the same. I took Him and all His promises to me that He has listed in His Word.
Often in the midst of the pain and the daily struggles of life, the enemy would put thoughts into my mind telling me that God had forsaken me, just as my parents did, He was not hearing my prayers, I was not going to get any better and God was finished with me.
No one knows what I am about to share with you, but for a while I listen to the lies of Satan and began to play it out in my mind how I could end my own life by taking all the pain pills I had been given. I feel so ashamed to share this with you, because I never thought I could ever get to that point in my life. Being a Christian we should have enough faith and trust in God not to think things of sort.
I want you to know that Satan knows just when and where to attack us and he continued to attack my health over and over. My faith was strong enough not to go out and willfully sin against God, but my health kept me in a mind set of not being able to do what I loved in life and serving God. The enemy knew he could not get to my heart, so he used my health, family, job and our finances to keep me oppressed.
You feel so alone when you are oppressed in the midst of pain and struggle.
My only hope and source was God because my husband and friends could not fix me.
In my despair and at the end of my rope, it was either take the pills or sit down at the piano. I sat down at the piano and began to sing a song, My Shepherd's Voice, my heart broke and I remember my prayer as I cried out to God, "I can not take it any more, I can not worry about the out come of my health, if I never get healed and out of pain, if I lose everything I am still going to trust You, because I know You have never left me and You will not forsake me. If this is what it takes for me to totally trust You or for someone else to see your hand on my life, this is my cross and I will carry it in Jesus' name."
From that moment on , I have not listen to the lies of the enemy of my soul. Even as I type this, I am not totally where I would like to be in my health, but I have a peace that surpasses all understanding and I know that my God loves me with a love that I can not comprehend and better yet, His blood covers my life and I can trust Him even in the valley of sickness as well as on the mountain top.....I have found His promise to be true, "I will never leave you nor forsake you".
"My God in Heaven, You know who is reading this devotion today, You knew they would over 2000 years ago as You looked through the scope of time. It is my prayer if they do not know You as their personal Savior, that You would knock upon their hearts door. For those that know You and they are in the midst of pain and struggle, Father right now the same promise Your Word has for me, You have it for them as well. Let them feel Your peace that surpasses all of our understanding, I bind the lies of Satan from their life as they grab onto Your promise, that You will never leave them nor forsake them. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to share with others, that we are all human and not a one of us are above the pain and struggles that life brings. Thank You Father for being my God and for keeping Your promise to me, in Jesus' name I pray."
Donna Hannah-Boswell - Guest Blogger